On to the NFL

Well, I’m off the bandwagon.  Notre Dame lost (I knew it would happen).  National Championship dreams ruined (they never had them anyway).  I’m living in total sin to try and cope with the pain (I was damned to hell long ago).  For this week, I shall turn my attention to the NFL, and to one team in particular:  The Dallas Cowboys.

Have you noticed the Dallas Cowboys yet this season? Or maybe a better question, how could you not have noticed the Cowboys this season? In three weeks they've had nationally televised night games twice, and their games are heard on the radio all over the country (including JOCK 98.7...here's to hoping this cross-promotion gets me a raise).  The only names getting more publicity than Terrell Owens and Tony Romo are Fanny May and Freddie Mac.

Naturally, when one team gets so much attention, people will search for reasons to dislike them. The Cowboys offer their detractors and endless choice of reasons to hate them; they are to the NFL what Tonya is to Real World/Road Rules challenges.  Their owner reeks of arrogance and botax, the organization makes the boastful claim that they are “America’s Team,” the moral compass of many of the players is skewed and best, the list goes on. 

The real reason people hate the Cowboys is simple: they are jealous.  Jealous of the ‘Boys winning tradition, the publicity they receive, and their high kicking cheerleaders. Just like the Yankees in baseball, Duke in college basketball, and the Phoenix Mercury in the WNBA (maybe a bad example), people hate whoever is on top. What really frustrates people about these types of teams is the publicity they receive regardless of how good they are; look no further than Notre Dame sleepwalking through a 3-9 season last year, yet being on NBC nearly every week.  The Yankees missed the playoffs this year, Duke can’t even make it to the sweet sixteen these days, and I honestly have no idea if the Phoenix Mercury are even a franchise anymore (can anyone confirm the WNBA playoffs are going on right now?).

   This begs the question, how good are the Cowboys?

 Sure, they're currently 3-0 and have made the playoffs the past two seasons, but can you remember the last time that the Cowboys won a playoff game? 1996. 1996, the year Cuba Gooding Jr won an academy award, Bob Dole ran for president, and Cowboy's kick returner Felix Jones turned 9 years old.

Since 1996 Drew Henson, Ryan Leaf, Quincy Carter, and Chad Hutchentson among others have lead the Cowboys offense, before they found their franchise player- high risk high reward quarterback Tony Romo (0-2 in playoff games).

Since 1996 Chan Gailey (yes the same Chan Gailey that is currently coordinating the Chiefs juggernaut offense), Dave Campo, and Bill Parcells have taken turns coaching the Cowboys, now they believe they’ve found a Super Bowl caliber coach- often times confused, country bumpkin Wade Phillips (0-4 in playoff games).

When you haven’t won a playoff game in over a decade, your team leader is the most erratic quarterback this side of Vince Young, and your head coach looks like he still plays with Tonka Trucks and wears Osh Kosh B’gosh overalls in his free time, its human nature to second guess how good you actually are. 

What good is a September win over the Packers in Green Bay if you are going to flame out in the first round of the playoffs?  The Cowboys beat the Packers in a Thursday night game last year to win home field advantage throughout the playoffs, remember that?  No, you probably don’t, and if you do its probably because it was on NFL Network and you couldn’t watch it.  Right now the Cowboys only seem to be able to get it done in the regular season, and are one more playoff flameout away from being labeled chokers.

Without a playoff win to their name why do these Cowboys receive so much attention?  To understand why the Cowboys receive so much attention in the present it is important to understand their recent past.

When Jerry Jones bought the Cowboys in 1989 he brought with him a swagger that had been absent from the franchise for nearly a decade.  He fired living legend Tom Landry, and hired Jimmy Johnson, a brash, controversial coach, and surrounded him with equally brash and controversial players.  From Emmitt Smith’s obsession with himself, to Alvin Harper’s sexual fetishes, to Michael Irvin’s addiction to…well…everything, the Cowboys of the early ‘90s were some bad mofos.  Even good ole boy Troy Aikman could constantly be seen around Valley Ranch with a dip in his lower lip (we all know chewing tobacco is a gateway drug for cocaine hooker sex).  The Cowboys dominated the NFL as well as the party scene around Dallas, and became a collection of larger than life characters because of it.

A Cowboys game became as much a Broadway production as a gridiron battle.  From the hole in the roof in Texas Stadium, to the fireworks during player entrances, to the absolutely ridiculous Rowdy the Cowboy, there was no mistaking a Cowboys game for any other in the NFL.

 I remember going to the ’95 NFC championship game between the Cowboys and Brett Favre’s Packers at Texas Stadium.  Even though I hated the Cowboys at the time (I thought I was a hardcore rebel) I can remember when Michael “the playmaker” Irvin walked out for warm ups and the crowd erupted thinking it pretty cool.

Sadly, all good things come to an end, and after their playoff win the 1996 the Cowboys lost much of their star appeal.  Aikman and Irvin’s bodies forced them to retire after years of punishment.  Emmitt Smith ended up tainting his legacy by refusing to retire, and finished his career with the Arizona Cardinals (cough Brett Favre as a Jet cough).  Young players that were once thought of as the future of the franchise such as Leon Lett and Clayton Holmes, drank and drugged their careers away. By the end of the ‘90s the Cowboys were no better, and in many ways worse, than an ordinary NFL franchise.

While the Cowboys went through their rebuilding process (it would be more accurate to describe it as Jerry Jones realizing he doesn’t know jack about being a General Manager) the NFL suffered by not having one of its marquee teams at the top of there game.  When the Cowboys are good the entire NFL takes note of their games, either to root for them, or against them.  When they are bad, its just not as fun.  The fans that like them aren’t happy cause they suck, the fans that hate them get tired of hating such a poor football team.  Think about it, if you hated someone and they became crippled by an injury would you still hate them?  Unless your name is (I really want to insert a co-workers name her, but don’t think I should) the answer is no.

  As you may have heard Ned Reynolds say “these things go in cycles,” and now, in the 2008, the Cowboys are back on the upswing of their cycle (their upswing actually started when Bill Parcells was hired as head coach, but Jerry Jones would much prefer to take all the credit himself, so we’ll do that).  The Cowboys are back as the most exciting, interesting, and at times head scratching team in the NFL. 

 Just look at all the story lines this team has: They have not one but two ex cons of defense with interesting nicknames- “Pacman” Jones and “Tank” Williams.  They have a quarterback who is dating one of the hottest girls in America, makes every play and exciting one (both positive and negative), and whose name sounds like a rib place- Tony Romo. They have the front-runner for Rookie of the Year- Felix Jones, and they are an all and all a good team (12 Pro Bowlers last year).  Look at that, four great story lines and we didn’t even mention Terrell Owens.  Being the Cowboys beat writer for the Dallas Morning News has to be the easiest job in sports right now, hell HBO’s hard knocks did all your training camp work for you.