Before we begin, I would like to apologize if I have more grammatical errors and misspellings than usual (if that’s even possible); I am still catching my breath and not thinking clearly after Notre Dame's beat down of Michigan this past weekend. The game, an 18 point win over a traditional rival, was a semi-orgasmic experience for me. Every time Michigan turned the ball over in the first half my nipples got rock hard, and every time Notre Dame capitalized with a touchdown my pants would get a little tighter in the crotch area (exaggerating...sorta). The win woke up the echoes along with the delusional Notre Dame fan; who is now taking time from his busy schedule of watching Rudy on VHS and playing NCAA Football 2006 eight hours a day in his parent’s basement, to proclaim the Irish's return to glory on college football message boards around the internet. Now, while across the country Irish fans are drinking Kool-Aid mixed with alcohol, or mescaline, or whatever kind of mind altering substance is necessary to believe this team is one of the nation’s elite, the Michigan State. Spartans sit back and wait.
Over the past 11 years no team has ruined more Saturday afternoons, caused more heartache, or forced the gland in my brain that produces hate to work harder than Michigan freakin’ State. The names change: from Bob Davie to Ty Willingham, from Matt Lovecchio to Carlyle Holliday, from Herb Haygood to Charles Rogers; but the story remains the same. Here is the basic script: Notre Dame gets off to a good start (yes, we consider two wins at home against unranked teams a ‘good,’ start these days), fans get overzealous and start printing Return to Glory T-shirts, and then Michigan State comes in and effs it all up.
For some reason MSU always seems to play the best game of their season against ND, it’s absolute BS. It’s like their entire off-season training program is designed for them to peak in the fourth game of the season. No team loves to get off to a quick start, build up expectations, and then drag ass through their conference schedule more than the damn Spartans of MSU. It's especially difficult for someone like me to watch who remembers back when MSU used to just lay down and get beat by 20 every year prior to 1997. What made this school all the sudden start caring about football again, and why do they car about beating a team that isn't even in the conference so much? Just watch, they will beat ND this weekend to get to 4-0, crack the top 25, and then completely implode barley finishing even bowl eligible. I hope I am wrong about this, but I doubt it…I really hate Michigan State.
Anyway, there is other action in the world of college football going on outside of the holier than thou bubble known as South Bend, IN. Here is your first look at the Brian Bardsley Championship Series top 5.
1. USC
Really not going out on a limb by any stretch of the imagination with this prediction. Since 2002 USC has had the best team in college football year in, and year out. After the 35-3 dismantling of Ohio St. this years team looks like it might be the best of the bunch. In the past 6 years the Trojans have lost one bowl game (’06 Rose Bowl), and without Vince Young’s superhuman performance they'd have won that game. It seems the only time USC losses these days is when they have a banana peel slip against a lesser PAC-10 team. When its time to put up or shut up USC usually lays the hammer down, just ask Illinois last year, OSU this year, or Notre Dame just about any year.
Still, some in the media try to discredit what USC has done because they have yet to meet the champions of the SEC in a bowl game; AP writer Ralph D. Russo calls it the "elephant in the room." It’s as if Russo is trying to imply USC needs to play with the big boys of the SEC to truly prove they are worthy. Does Russo not remember the Trojans opener in 2003 when they shut out #6 Auburn 23-0? Or what about the glorified practice, a 70-17 sodomizing, against Arkansas in 2005? In fairness to Arkansas they did redeem themselves the next year when USC came to play a night game down in Fayetteville, only losing 14-50.
The SEC may be the most talented conference in college football, but that talent is spread throughout 11 1/2 teams (sorry Vanderbilt you have .5 of a football program at best). USC on the other hand has it pick from all the high school talent in California and the surrounding states. Rick Neuheisel can claim the football monopoly in LA is over, but after a 55-0 schlacking from BYU its clear UCLA is still playing second fiddle. The USC football team might as well be renamed the West of the Rockies College Football All-Stars.
2. Oklahoma
Lost in the all the USC hype is the fact that Oklahoma is a darn good football team. They just demolished a crappy Ty Willingham coached Washington (crappy Ty Willingham- too redundant?) to improve to 3-0. They now have a week off before facing a halfway decent TCU team and then getting into Big XII play. If they beat Texas on October 11 in Dallas they should be on a collision course to face Mizzou in the Big XII championship game.
3. Florida
I just think after 1 and 2 they is a cluster-eff of teams you can mix and match to round out the top 5. I’ll put Florida in third just because I have seen them win two national championships in my college football career (sorry Georgia, I was –5 years old when you last won it). One question though: How long ‘til Tim Tebow gets hurt? A quarterback can’t take as many hits as he does and SEC defenses and say healthy his entire career can he? I’m gonna put him number two on my players that just have to get injured at some point this year – right behind Pat White, and ahead of Jeremy MacLin.
4. Georgia
It will be interesting to see how the Bulldogs do when they travel to Arizona State. SEC teams have not faired particularly well when they are forced to play outside the deep south, look no further than Tennessee's trip to UCLA earlier this year (maybe its the indoor plumbing that throws them off?). Georgia should beat ASU by more than ten points and then prepare itself for a run through the SEC gauntlet.
5. Mizzou
I still think they lose three games this year, but they have been impressive so far. I'll keep them ahead of Texas for now and wait for the two teams to play down in Austin on October 18. Maybe if the winner of the LSU/Auburn game is impressive this week they could crack the top 5, but I doubt it. After watching Auburn put up 3 points against Mississippi State this past weekend, I've got to say I don't really trust this team.