Tony
Romo is back, Marion Barber is the one of the most bruising quarterbacks in the
leagues, and TO hasn't said anything too ridiculous in a few weeks; it would
appear all is well in big D. After a
road win against the Redskins and an easy home win against the lowly Lions it
looks like the Cowboys have righted the ship and are back in the NFC playoff
race. As we learned last year with the
Giants it is not about how you start the season, its how you finish, and this
years Cowboys team have the talent to finish as well as anyone in the league. They’re in perfect position to sneak into the
playoffs as a wildcard team and cause some major damage. There is one problem: As talented as the Cowboys are they are just
as if not more unstable. Unstable teams
for the most part unstable before they are talented.
*Remember
last year when the Giants started 0-2 and Tom Coughlin was public enemy number
1 in
New York? Doesn’t
that look stupid? Or what about in 2005
when Coughlin was all but fired and Chris Mortenson reported on ESPN that
Charlie Weis was going to take the job so Notre Dame offered him a huge
contract extension even though Weis swore up and down he wasn’t going to leave? Doesn’t tha…sentence could not be completed.
Brian forced to walk away from computer, start drinking, and cue up the
movie Rudy to the part where Vince Vaughn yells “it’s that last practice of the
season and the a#%^($# thinks it’s the Super Bowl.”
The
Cowboys remind me of a remedial middle school English class with a substitute
teacher. Everyone remembers in middle
school when a substitute teacher came into a classroom the first thing the
students did was test the new teacher to see what they can get away with. If the sub doesn't put their foot down early
they risk losing the class for the day. Before
you know it kids are talking fifteen minute bathroom breaks, passing notes, and
kicking paper footballs across the room.
By the time anarchy has ensued it’s too late for the sub to do anything
to reel the class back in. It’s the same
way with an NFL team; a coach who has shown he’s a pushover can’t flick a
switch and become a disciplinarian. Bill
Parcells put together most the key components for this team, and was a disciplinarian. He didn't put up with nonsense from guys like
Terry Glenn and Terrell Owens, and kept the team together through the Drew
Bledsoe to Tony Romo quarterback transition.
When Wade Phillips, the feeble substitute, came in as a compassionate
"player’s coach" the team lost much of its discipline. When Jerry Jones essentially made Phillips an
interim coach by paying Jason Garrett $3 million dollars a year Phillips lost
whatever credibility he had left in the locker room. And when Jones signed Pacman Jones and threw
his personality into the pot with the rest of the nuts in Big D the inmates
officially started running the asylum.
So,
while the ‘Boys have little two game winning streak going there is still a
fifty-fifty chance a riot squad will have to be called into Valley Ranch at
some time this season. Whether or not
the Cowboys will implode is now the second biggest storyline in the NFL next to
the Lions quest to run the table backwards.
The Cowboys could just as easily run the table and roll through the
playoffs as they could finish .500. HBO
really should have kept the cameras running and made a Hard Knocks regular season edition.
Let’s take a look at some of the leading characters in the Cowboys soap
opera:
Tony
Romo- I hesitate to lump Romo in with the rest of the "idiot"
Cowboys. By everything I see and read he
is about the nicest guy on earth, but his decision making causes me to
constantly scratch my head. Ever since
he gained celebrity status two years ago after he took Drew Bledsoe's starting
job he has used the line "you guys won't even remember who I am in 10
years," as a crutch to deal with his fame.
That line was cute the first fifty time, but it has gotten old, and it’s
ridiculous. Successful Dallas Cowboys
quarterbacks don't usually fall off the face of the earth after they retire. If you win a Super Bowl for “
America’s Team” people tend to remember who you are. If Romo means what he says then he would
prefer not to be remembered like Roger Staubach, Don Meredith, and Troy Aikman,
but would rather model his career after the likes of Quincy Carter, Anthony
Wright, and Chad Hutchinson. I highly
doubt Jerry Jones would have given Romo six year 64 million dollar contract if
he knew Romo planned on falling off into relative obscurity.
If
Romo actually means he would prefer to just be a normal guy after a successful
NFL career (I think this is what he is trying to say), than he really needs
stop dating pop singers. If he wants to
date Carrie Underwood or Jessica Simpson that’s his business, but when their
publicist goes out of their way to make sure the whole world knows their client
in dating the Cowboys starting quarterback it becomes a distraction for Romo
and the team. It’s kind of hard to be a
normal guy when your girlfriend's dad calls tabloids to take pictures of the
two of you to keep her in the public eye.
Singing Karaoke with the guy who played Mr. Belding in Saved by the
Bell and some band named Metal Skool isn't exactly
the best way to lay low during the off-season either. He just can't make up his
mind whether he wants to be a pop culture celebrity or a normal guy who chops
down wood for his log cabin fireplace in
Burlington,
Wisconsin after his playing days are over.
He comes across as a totally cool down to earth dude that I would like
to hang out with. I’m just not so sure
that totally cool down to earth dudes I would like to hang out with make great
NFL quarterbacks (although I am sure Joe Namath and I could kick it).
All
off the field controversy aside, Romo makes some real boneheaded decisions on
the football field. I understand he is a
high risk high reward improvising play making type quarterback in the Brett
Favre/Doug Flutie mold, but when the Cowboys need him most he seems to offer
more risk than reward. In his two
playoff starts, both losses, one game ended with him fumbling a field goal
attempt and the other with an interception in the end zone. You don't need a flowchart to see that his
inability to protect the football is becoming a season ending trend.
I
can't stress enough that I love Romo, think that he is one of the good guys in
the NFL, and know that the Cowboys probably would not have made the playoffs
either of the last two years had he not been their quarterback. I worry that being around the rest of the
rest of the Cowboys and the
Dallas
media is slowly turning him crazy. Its
like in Oz when Beacher turned from a normal business man to a raging maniac after
being surrounded by the rest of the quacks in
Emerald
City. You can't share a locker
next to Terrell Owens for three straight years and not start to turn into at
least a bit of a head case yourself.
Speaking TO...
Terrell
Owens- Everyone knows TO is a head case, but no one knows exactly why he is a
head case. Sometimes (most of the time)
he is the most selfish player on the team, sometimes he wants (he says he
wants) to be the ultimate team player. I
wrote a 15 page research paper on Owens my senior year of college for an ethics
class and still have no idea how his brain works. If he has money trouble after his career is
over you can pretty much mark it down that he will be on some kind of
Celeb-reality show on VH1 with his personality.
Throw him and Andy Reid in a house with Corey Feldman, Janice Dickenson,
Gary Busey, and that Trischelle chick from the Real World and you’ve got a
money maker.
To
Mr. Owens credit, he had a huge game against
San Francisco and hasn't really caused too much controversy
since complaining that he only got the back one third of the time in a home
loss to the Washington Redskins in week 4, but you know its just a matter of
time. As I stated before I have no idea
how his brain works so I've got no idea what well set him of, but here is a
guess...TO will turn 35 years old in less than a month, while new receiver, and
Texas native, Roy Williams is just 26 years old. Which one do you think the Cowboys see as
there receiver of the future? Which one
do you think will start to get the ball in big situations as the season goes
on? Which one do you think will
absolutely blow up when he realizes he is being phased out?
All
of the other Cowboys offensive playmakers (Marion Barber, Mark Whitten, and
Tony Romo) are under 30 years old.
Dallas's window to win a Super Bowl should be open for
the next four or five years, look for TO to be pushed out that window.. Owens skills are already on the slide. He doesn't get off the line as well as he used
to, and he continues to be drop passes on a regular basis. He loves to think of himself as a big time
player, but since leaving
San Francisco he hasn't won a playoff game.
TO is on the way out in
Dallas, he just doesn't know it yet, when he finally figures
it out make sure you have your popcorn ready.
Pacman
Jones- So the Pacman is going to be allowed to play again after Thanksgiving; I
don't see how anything could possibly go wrong.
I am shocked Roger Goodell isn’t letting him join the Cowboys for their
nationally televised Thanksgiving game? It’s
not like he has any kind of history embarrassing himself, his team, or the
league.
At
least Pacman did something productive with his time during his most recent
suspension by going to rehab. I just
don't understand why he didn't go the last time he was suspended. If you had a full year that you're not
allowed to go to work because of a problem you have wouldn't you sacrifice a
month or two out of the time to fix that problem? Especially if you are Pacman Jones- I don't
want to judge a book by the cover, but if you listen to him talk for more than
a few seconds you get the feeling he doesn't have too many other options other
than football to make a legal productive living.
All
joking aside I really can't stand Pacman Jones.
Sympathize with him all you want and keep bringing up the point that he
has never been convicted of a felony, but deep down inside you know you are
just kidding yourself. Wherever Pacman
goes trouble follows and innocent people are affected negatively.
Now
I didn't even mention Tank Williams, Brady James, either Roy Williams, or
Martellus Bennett's ego. I also
neglected to mention they have three Pro Bowl caliber players out with season
ending injuries. I also failed to
mention the Cowboys recent history of playoff disappointments that if the
season ended today they wouldn't even be in the playoffs. Throw in the fact that Jerry Jones secretly
wants to be the head coach of the team and that he is no longer paying for
Pacman's bodyguards and you can see there is a lot about this team that can go
wrong.
As
I said before, I have no idea how the Cowboys are going to do for the rest of
the year. They are the most
unpredictable team in the most unpredictable sport in
America. The only
thing I can predict about this team is that it will go about it unpredictable
behavior in a very interesting way…Get ya popco’n ready!!!!!